One of the first westerns, this film was an interesting movie to realize, by realize I mean for the creator not for me. It is a cornerstone of what we can consider a modern narrative (story) in film today. Made by Edwin Porter in 1903 The Great Train Robbery was a ground breaking film that maybe didnt introduce but definately did enhance some advanced techniques. Including the “double exposure” which can be seen in the first scene as the train pulls into the station in the background.

Double Exposure is the idea that the film can be exposed any number of times before developing as long as there is an image to be seen on the film, so in this case they probably filmed the train going by first, and then re-exposed the film a second time to get the “stick up” happening in “front” of the previously exposed shot, dont ask me how they got it confined to just that 1 window, cause I dont know.

Another, not necissarely ground breaking for our day and age other than the idea that they could incorperate color, is the fact that they had some color in the film, the gunshots would mostly fire an orange tone or a red tone. they had Women in “pretty” dresses that were yellow or purple.

I found it interesting that we would find ourselves forced to watch all or most of this train robbery from 1 stationary shot. Granted there were a plethera of shots and it wasnt one big long shot, but instead whenever we had a new scene it would simply take place in one big take. This could easily distract the common american audiance who is used to seeing 200 cuts in the first  20 minutes of a movie. But in a different and more subjective format it makes us step back and see just what early film makers had to do. Now-a-days at least in my own film making I find it difficult to make mistakes, I want to be George Lucas so bad that maybe I forget that he and many others before him including Edwin Porter failed before they succeeded.

Aside from that little trip down filmstudent lane, the film itself had one more visally appealing aspect. The final scene of the film is one of the bandits in close up and he shoots his gun right at you. One of my peers suggested that this might even be the first 3D film. In the case that this guy is in your face and he shoots you, and no matter where your perspective is in the room/theater it looks like he is looking at you and is trying to kill you. And you know he will, he just killed a wuss who tried to run away from the robbery as it occured.

I would suggest that as little as he had for the era he was in it was a very skillful movie.

Thumbs up Edwin!

If I may be so bold I would like to ask my female readers to please imagine the perfect man, now aside from the idea that he may be well “hung” how does he treat you? Does he always excuse himself whenever you are annoyed with him or when he is being foul? Does he tell you everything that you are to him whenever you need it most? And how about the males, how do we imagine our perfect lady? I can tell you about mine, she’s tall, no taller than me though, and long porcelain legs; soccer player’s thighs, that pleasing to the eye pair shape, a big bright white smile, piercing blue eyes and long dark hair. A woman that very well may exist, but she also in my mind only speaks highly of me all the time, she is willing to have as many kids as it takes to have a male child, and is consumed with the very thought of me. Now if I could talk to the ladies again, how many of you would be that for the man you love? Say he wanted a male child at whatever the cost? You tried and tried but all you guys got were females; 12 girls later are you still willing to go until he is happy? What I’m getting at here is that pornography is a perversion of a real human, to men she is beautiful, and will do anything and everything for him. I don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouth, but I can imagine the female perspective is equally unattainable. Men will not always be the “Prince Charming’s” we see in Hollywood movies, although we may have our moments few and far between, we will never reach that status. And I would like to submit that “porn” has gotten us to that point. Our consumer culture has conditioned us to think that we deserve to have all our desires met and that we are entitled to have the perfect product when we want it. When we approach our intimate relationships with this attitude, we turn relationships into a commodity and stunt our emotional growth.
According to Dr. Judith Reisman, pornography affects the physical structure of your brain turning you into a porno-zombie. The affect it has may feel positive at the time because you are getting what you want, and in the American society we are always used to getting what we want and when we want it. But did it ever occur to us that maybe instead of indulging in our wants; we abstain from whatever sycophantic desires we have about sex and pleasure and deal with the source of the issue. Which for every one may be different, mine personally is that I cannot deal with the idea of being alone, and maybe at the root of the problem of most people that is their fear. Everyone may be afraid to be alone the rest of their life because they know just how sick they are and would either feel burdensome to their life mate or undeserving of their “true love”.
This country is now at a fifty percent divorce rate; that means half of marriages today are ending in divorce. What bring us to this point? Infidelity? Marring young? hatred of the In-laws? Infidelity is not a proven factor in any divorce rate statistic only that marriages that do experience “cheating” for the most part end in divorce. But the surveys that have take place have shown that it is a leading factor in why divorce rate have gone up. I would submit that in our society where we are so prone to getting what we want that it has stunned our growth both as people and as genders. Porn for one stimulates yourself and what you want. And teaches you no value of pleasing anyone else; we are constantly teaching ourselves to “love” ourselves and no one else.
Women, don’t think you are exempt from this destructive force of pornography, from attending a debate between a porn star and a Pastor, I learned that women watch porn too, and at just the same rate as any two males. Granted that is half, but that is just the act of sexual intercourse online. I could, at great protest, submit that the “chick flick” is another version of porn for women. If we think about it what impression are we always left with about the men in a chick flick? He never farts, never poops, never has a flaw in his perfect persona, though in the Hollywood movie it is well know that the plot line for such movies is: girl finds boy, boy loses girl, they resolve and the movie concludes. Aside from that fact we never see how flawed this man is; we are lead to believe that his every thought is for the sake of her good, that he is a gentleman to her in front of his friends. However romantic that thought may be, that is just not the case. He has a functioning body, so to believe that he will always be able to hold his gas is an impossible fact, although I do agree that if he can, he should.
We see and hear in our media today everything, but what is really stated about sex. How much fun it is and how pleasuring the sensations are, but do we ever see the minute problems that sex brings out in us. The detachment from reality that pornography alone brings out in just the male gender of this species is scary even to think about. To state the obvious men tend to view women as pieces of meat rather than living, breathing, and all together vibrant beings that they truly are. And at the opposite end of the spectrum women seem to view themselves as less and less “attractive” because of these minute detachment issues that men deal with because of the affect of “Playboy” magazine and pornography. We no longer have to listen to anything a women says in a magazine we must only oogle her until we find it satisfactory enough to move onto the next page. And we only have to hear a woman say, “fuck me daddy” or some other vulgar premeditated insult or “sex banter” when watching the pornography so easily distributed on the internet.
Something must be done about our apatite’s. Diets have been invented for the physical body. A diet for the mind and a cleansing of the human soul is what is needed. I know from sitting in on that debate between porn star Ron Jeremy and the founder of xxxchurch.com that steps could be taken to set apart a server for porn. It may not prove the most effective diet, but the separate server would also protect future generations from becoming “porno-zombies”. The server would be age restricted, and just like we pay for our Comcast cable internet service we would purchase this internet provider and be able to view porn and maybe it would even keep us from watching it too much, when we have to pay for internet and for our porn server people would be irritated at paying more, but to save a future generation from being even worse off than the current one is worth it.

i have been coming across some awesome music and media that has been getting me stoked on the holidays, i am normally a downer around christmas, i dont know why, but i have found a lot of cool stuff. the little drummer boy by the almost is really awesome, as well as the Carol of the Bells by ABR, and this sweet video by Relient K
http://vimeo.com/2208095

I hate to say it, but even the Bible…which is the written truth, has backed this statement up.

“I have put myself here, I’m the culprit, I am the Culprit!.”

That seems to be the entire being for my exsitance is that simple little phrase. I have litteraly defined my life off of that small phrase. And the worst part of it is it rings truer now more than ever.

You see, i will not apologize to someone, mostly because they need to get over it. Grow up is all i have to say. But i have no right, cause im being childish myself, and im losing a friend because of this situation. Am I bummed, not really, maybe it hasn’t hit me yet, maybe i didn’t care at all for this dude, maybe maybe maybe.

“I guess its safe to say Your never coming back” ~ Relient K

More than that i feel like this song right now

Someone has sown me shut
And tied me to a bed
They locked me up, locked me up
Oh, God!
Have you ever felt like you cannot talk to anyone,
like you have been sown shut, and strapped down, locked up and
you can only scream in your mind, OH God!

This is where they all
Throw me to the wolves
Dragged behind and trampled on
and your sure that if you did open up, everyone you know would push you aside, and or judge you, you would be left alone with nothing but the wolves around you to gnaw at your flesh, that you would be beaten behind the shed of some imaginary place.

I can’t keep clawing at the jaws of hell
The silence is killing me
but the worst part is is that if you never speak the words you are going to die regardless. and all the while you are trying to fight your way out on your own.

Nothing to calm the nerve
Nothing to calm the nerve
Write down my thoughts
And read me my rights
so you write your thoughts, maybe on a blog, hoping to god someone will sympathize, not tell you the “right” answer but let you know that you are not alone, no “right” action will cure your pain, just someone to know how you feel.

Repeat, repeat, repent and repeat
The cycle never really ends
‘Till they admit that it’s real
The cycle never really ends
‘Till they admit, they admit that it’s real
and you find yourself reverting to the old habits and hurts that you onve thought you gave up, but instead you burried away and return to any time everything falls, which for you seem a daily event, and you repeat and repeat, and eventually you feel so much guilt that you repent in your mind, not your heart, and you repeat again and again…and you will never be out of this cycle until you can face the fact that there is a reality to face…

Everything, everything is leaving me wondering
I’m I hate that I’m questioning Your everything, everything
and everything you do makes you question who you knew yourself to be at one time. and you hate that fact, that you question who and what you serve, who and what your god is to you, and how you can manage to screw up this bad.

This is how it seems to me
I’ve drowned myself in self-regret
This is how I wanna be
This can’t be how I wanna be
even worse is that you dont pick yourself up when you fall, but rather you leave yourself on the ground and the water’s raise and you are once again drowning in the hope humanity calls regret… and in the midst of all that you say “this is how i want to be”, but in your heart and mind you know this cant be how you want to be.

This is spinning perfect little circles
And that’s all that they know
They just spin in perfect little circles
And that’s all that they know, all that they know
and to top it off. you find yourself in that same cycle that we talked about earlier. and you find out that the only reason your here is cause its safe, its all that you know. you know nothing of risk, or chance, just the same cycle and same endless regret.

Nothing’s right, just left alone
Sinking in will be just fine
None of them will ever know
None of them will ever know
Nothing’s right, just left alone
Sinking in will be just fine
None of them will ever know
None of them will ever know
Nothing’s right, just left alone
Sinking in will be just fine
None of them will ever know
None of them will ever know
Nothing is right, and you know it, you will be left alone, cause no one will ever take the chance to say hello to you, you will always be alone, because no one likes a sour puss, no one will put up with one, and you are content to the point of sinking into what you know will be your DOOM. if only someone, a physical manifestation of the Jesus you know would step into your life and call the best out of you, but that will never happen, because people are just like you, weak and selfish and just as cought up in there own mess, to see the hurt you are going through.

this past few weeks have literally been HELL…

too many things have gone wrong, and in the midst of my wrong, everyone else seems so right!

thats the worst..

~It starts with a meeting with Trav and P. A. i dont want to go into the somewhat “gory” details.
~it continues when i get the new Underoath album and they express in 11 songs exactly what i have going on right now!!
~not ending there any time i see someone i dont want to talk to they ask me if im ready for internship, dont ask me that…i will never know!!! FRICKIN!
~Smitty tells me i need to deal with the stress level at work better…
~Aaron brings the hammer down on Wednesday.
~Now i feel like a terrible christian and a terrible man and intern and any other form of person i play.
~Trav tells me to write donw my thoughts in a journal, and then bring it to God.

*does anyone else ever feel like they cant talk to God?
*i cant seem to open my mouth and talk to him…maybe cause i feel he will never talk to me again, or judge me for being so evil, or i dont even know, i cant seem to open my mouth and speak words…
*the worst part is in the midst of all of this i feel more dependent on underoath than i do on him…
*so now im even worse off than before, because my “relationship” with Christ is not based on me and him, but me and Underoath and Him, more of the first 2 than of the latter…

CONDEMNATION seems to be my middle name…
i find all of this so condemning only because i try to be a good leader…a good friend, a good christian (as i read theworldisbrightandbeautiful blog saying how i gave some kind of insight that i didnt even take the advice of…)

Regardless…i feel like UnderOath more than ever now…
(all there songs seem to have a negative aspect for the entire thing until the last line…)
and in the words of UnderOath

I am forgetting my Forgiveness!

So as far as Ethiopia is concerned i am not super stoked like everybody thinks i am or says i should be, but im getting better with it…im not Sarah Bowling about it, but im getting to see some larger picture develop from my tiny insignificant mind.

Another thing is my last blog. #1 i understand that what Jesus did is a free gift and i dont have to earn anything from that, i was merely saying that, JJesus did something spectacular by saving me with his grace and love, it is my job now to make sure that that sacrifice does not go un-heeded, un-wanted, and un-heard.

#2 is that i dont need your advice…I am already to advising of myself and i am too wise, so to add more ontop of my already critical nature of myself it going to, in the end, kill me.

thanks for the comments and whatever….but if you know me…which you shouldnt…cause its a blog…then you would know that if it doesnt build me up then its gonna tear me down…theres no neutral ground with this guy…SORRY!

one thing i do not know, is how to give up. sometimes it bothers me. I want to quit something, anything, and i cannot seem to do it. other things i can shut out completely. My mother told me the other day that, “until i broke my arm i was ‘fearless’.” what happened to that 5 yr old that had so much heart. that was Epic he turned into this sad excuse for a human. I may be a man, the only qualification by the way is a penis. not a fast car or how many bullets you can take in the chest, or how you take your coffee, but i am a sad excuse, of a human. God created me to Love, i cannot find it within me to do that. right now i hate you, yes you the reader, for judging me, cause i know that i judge you, for you looks and style and your lack of not liking me cause i have acne or a bad attitude. and i know that whatever i do to you you will do right back to me. i cannot stop hating, i want to quit, but i hate you. You. i dont know you i dont want to. cause in the end you will try to offer some advice to fix me, or save me, or help me blog better. i dont want it, i would rather hate you.

Word to the want to be wise, never pray for Knowledge and wisdom, you will end up bitter and alone. I did, i got my wish. I am freakin too smart. And alone. Read Ecclesiastes you will see what i mean.

Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies

If there were an ocean or sky for every hour of the day, that is a lot of new oceans and skies.

Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries

I fail all day long, what seems to be every minute of every hour of every day.

Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place

If your not 1st your last(Ricky Bobby’s father) and my failures seem to creep up on me and remind me that i am just that, a failure.

Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day

I seem to want to give up, drop out, and leave mt own life every dusk.

Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago

I learned some things i thought i would never have to learn today, i forgot things i should have remembered, and i dont think that any better or any worse is the way to describe the end of a day.

Still I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

God wont you help me!? I’m desperate! I don’t want to be this same old crap every day, i feel like yesterday is better than today when really today should be better than yesterday.

And I’m not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago

I SUCK! Even more?

Still I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

Father take me up in your LOVE. show me your LOVE.

Twenty four reasons to admit that I’m wrong

I have every reason to be wrong, i know it, you know it, everyone seems to know it, i am a failure!

With all my excuses still twenty four strong

I make 1 then 2 then 4, soon they envelope me, all my justifications, whether attractive to the human appearance or not.

See I’m not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You’re raising the dead in me

But Father, i wont give up if you wont. Im not copping out of this one, not running away, cause my failures just teach me that you are raising the “new man” in me, that i am dead, and only you raise the dead.

Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now

I am New!
I am New!
I am the New MAN!

And You’re raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts

And all of my friends are here to help, however much i hate how they try to fix me or push me, they are here as all of the voice of You, all the heart of You pushing me to the New MAN

With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts

All the songs i see as me, all the parts of me that make me, who i was and am and who im going to be.

But I want to be one today
Centered and true

No more am i going to be split and broken, no more is Zach going to be 24 emotions for 24 reasons, and 24 hates for 24 friends. I want to live in Your love, Your love that centers me, the truth of your love.

I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You’re raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You’re raising the dead in me

Spirit, You know what to do. You know i am supposed to be made whole, that my failures are not who i am, but part of the process in who i am going to be. So raise me back to life, cause 24 hours of failure is enough to kill me. Make me the NEW MAN!!!

I want to see miracles, see the world change

I want You to use me Father, to change the world, to see something spectacular.

Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause

If Jacob wrestled the angel for a name, a new name, by which Your promise would be fulfilled i am going to wrestle you till i am parylized, i will not settle for anything less than what You have for me, and i will have to get out of my own way to see it happen. I fight you for more than right and wrong, and more than to do what is right! I want all of You, and all that that entails.

I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You’re raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I’m not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.

Im not giving up, i will “Never Give Up”
No matter how much of a failure i am.

I ran into Hosh today, and he invited me to a prayer meeting. It was kinda frightening cause i didn’t know what we were praying for or anything, but i still went. I honestly felt like crap and i really didn’t feel like praying cause i felt like God was pretty pissed at me and i couldn’t talk to Him right then. But i went and God totally opened my ears; as Hosh was praying these words,

 "obedience always requires sacrifice".

I have been dreading this Ethiopia trip with Pastor Sarah. i just dont want to go, but right then it was a prophetic message the God was speaking through Hosh. He basically said suck it up Zach. At first i thought it was just human wisdom, but as i ran through various characters of the bible such as King David, Jesus and King Solomon i ran into the same conclusion, that they had all sacrificed something for the sake of obedience. Jesus gave his Life! How much more should i give if my savior gave his own life?!

Thanks Hoshi!!!!

Format Inspired

by JudiFree