what happened…

i havent written a blog in a while, so i figured i should…have you ever just wanted to give a word for something in your life, the moment in time you are in right now…if i could give a word i would want to give alone, i dont really know if i can say i am alone or not, it feels like the definition fit me…but there is another word to fit my condition i suppose…lonely, which when i read the first definition of it it sounds alot more like my case…(i have provided links to dictionary.com if you want to look at the definitions of the words)

i guess i feel both maybe, i mean there are certain things in my life that just put me in an “alone” status, like my mom is gone to india for 2 weeks, hense i am home alone for those weeks, and then there is the very real sense that anytime i go somewhere “familiar” i am alone or “lonely”, because when people tell you certain things, i would hope to believe that they would follow through on them…

lets say a person you look up to tells you that you are VERY important to them, wouldnt you expect that they would wonder as to how you were doing? say if a person died in your family and you didnt have anywhere else to turn, would you expect yourself to go out of your way to be heard? or would you want to be met in your grieved status?

and i know as a christian i am never alone, but even at times Jesus feels distant, like i have to come and meet him where he is at, im reminded of the man on the road to jericho who is beaten and robbed and left for dead, if i am that man then someone should hopefully pass by and see my pain…we see in the stroy that the rabbi passes by (that happened), and then some other religious member(that happened) and then a samaritan comes and helps(that happened) a person despised by the jewish people came and helped this beaten jewish man…and the worst part is that it seems the world cares more times than Christians do…i hate to say it, but i have been that man beaten down, robbed, and left for dead, and it seems like the only love i have felt in the past weeks is that of a co-worker at office max…how wierd, you would think travis, or aaron might be the ones, or even jesus…but i have felt no love from anywhere except out in the world??? how sick…im at a fork…and i must have hope that christians care…that there is more to them than that meets the eye, but i have no proof to show that…we are all consumed in our own problems that we forget about those wounded around us…

Forest Gump got shot in the butt, but he still went back in time after time to find bubba his “best-good friend”, he was wounded and bleeding but not as bad as everyone else, sometimes maybe we should look past our own wounds to see the hurt of others…im guilty of it just as much as the next christian…

~ by oohryuhh on October 15, 2008.